Time Off

I was planning on posting another blog these past few weeks but I just haven't had the time.

My sister Danica came to visit me for Las Fallas two weeks ago and then I went to London on a trip with my school for 6 days. Spring break has just begun and I'm leaving this afternoon to go to my host families' beach house where there is no wifi. So again, I won't be able to post a blog. 

Next week when we return from the beach I will be packing up to switch host families for the last time. I'm actually leaving Denia and going to live with this family in a nearby town called Gata. I'll be taking the train to and from Denia each day to get to school- so that will surely be an interesting new experience. 

With just three months left, I'm ready to soak up the spanish sun and make the most of my remaining days.

I promise to write as soon as I can, but like I said, a lot is going on right now.

As always thank you for reading and for all of the support you continue to send me from home. 

Can't wait to see you all in a few months!

Fish what?

This morning when I woke up I was not excited to go out for lunch with my host family and their friends in a nearby town called Pego. They all speak in Valenciano, a language that mixes french and spanish, and I can barely follow the conversations let alone enjoy myself for the 5-7 hours that we usually spend with them.

Just after 1o'clock we went to Pego and I immediately plopped myself down on the couch to relax as the three kids ran into another room to play and the parents sat in the kitchen to have a beer. On these days I often wish that there was someone my age or at least another person that would speak Castilian spanish with me.

An hour later we walked through town to a small restaurant where we ordered "arroz pescado". Not only do I dislike fish, but I didn't have much of an appetite either. So up until this point, my day wasn't great due to a few thing that I didn't like and my poor attitude.

At one point, as we were waiting for our food, a song came on the restaurant that caught my attention. It was a harmonica and a country man's voice. I couldn't make out the words but I had one of those moments where I mentally took a step back from everything that was going on in that moment, listened to the beauty of the music, and said to myself "Kalla, you are in Spain. SPAIN. Let that sink in right now. You are about to eat a typical spanish meal that you haven't tried yet. Do not jump to conclusions and assume that you don't like it. Instead of being frustrated with Valenciano do your best to listen and chime in on the conversation when possible. You can be content with this day, but you have to choose right now."

Needless to say, I tried every dish that they put on the table. I loved the oysters. And ate half of a tiny fried fish... I still don't understand how everyone was just eating the whole thing with bones in it- I had to stop when the spine got stuck between my teeth. hahaha
Next came the rice with artichokes, tomato, peppers, oysters, squid, octopus, calamari, fish, and other ingredients that I couldn't identify. It was the moment of truth when I took a spoonful and bit into the consistency of each piece of seafood.

It. Was. Delicious.
I ate myself full and sipped on a delicious white wine the whole time.

I was only spoken to a few times all afternoon but I focused on the positive and had a few laughs while watching an English couple on the other side of the restaurant try to order their food in spanish ;)

Brain Pour

***Before I write today's blog I just had some stuff to get off my chest***

I've been living here for two months and I still feel so distant from this family.

My little sister always looks at me like I'm strange and I don't know how to please my host mother. 

Ana always makes comments that I've either eaten a lot or eaten too little. 

She tells me I've gained weight in my hips and that my face is rounder too.

As if I can't see that stupid scale every. single. day.

I've never struggled with my image before.

But every word, every number, it hurts more and more.

The weekends are always the same.

"No, I'm staying home" I tell Ana every Friday night.

I don't have plans. I don't have friends. Would you like to tell me something new?

I'm going to stay up until 2am listening to spoke word poetry and watching Ellen Degeneres re-runs.

On Saturday & Sunday morning I sleep till noon.

We eat with family and friends for lunch on those days.

I didn't think the Valenciano would be a problem, but now it drives me crazy.

I can barely grasp spanish and now they speak Valenciano?

I wish Ana would stop staring at me expecting words to magically come out of my mouth when I can't understand a single word that is being said in these conversations.

I can't deal with the nagging feeling that I'm wasting these days here in Spain.

So I go for walks and explore random places.

My favorite days are when it rains.

No one is outside and I can think aloud. 

I like my alone time. 

It's the first time in my life that I've had a chance to be a loner.

Can people just accept me for that inside of thinking I'm a failure as an exchange student?

Emma and I have made some type of routine out of the weekdays.

Lunch. Ice cream. Green tea. Movie.

I love my Chicago girl and the time we have together.

In school I sleep.

The curriculum is so over my head that I don't even know how to try anymore.

I'm worried to death about SAT's HSPA's and applying to college this fall.

At lunch time I wonder around the patio and pretend like I have someone to stand with.

Even the people I call "friends" don't really care when I disappear.

Danica is coming to visit me in 11 days.

Last night I was thinking about how long it's been since I've hugged anyone.

Ana and Marina were cuddling on the couch and my chest went empty.

I can't wait to throw my arms around Danica's waist.

Just hold on to someone that I love and loves me in return.

It's incredible what 6 months of loneliness can do to you.

In the beginning of the year I got letters and packages almost every other week.

Thank you Julia Viola and Mom for being faithful letter writers. 

I sorta predicted that from the start.

In some situations it's better that I didn't stay in touch with people.

There were some relationships in my life that I needed to let go of.   

I'm ready to enjoy the end of this year on exchange...

Danica is coming for a week.

London with Emma for a week.

Emma's family comes to visit.

Easter break.

Change host families.

and the last two months will be hot enough for BEACH BEACH BEACH everydayyyyyyyyy! :)