I've said this before, and I will say it again- Rockbridge YoungLife camp is the closest thing you will ever find to heaven on earth. My soul thrives there as if it were created to live in that environment forever, with all of those amazing people. And this year, I finally got to watch two of my best friends experience YL summer camp for the first time in their lives. I only have one word that could describe the feelings that I felt throughout the week- REAL. Whether we were screaming songs at the top of our lungs and releasing stress in club or having heart-to-hearts and crying over our deepest pains, it was all so real.
Brooke delivered life changing messages each and every night, and I sat there amazed at how much you can still learn from the same story even after you've heard it 8 times. It's always a highlight of my week to take some personal time and reflect on my walk with Christ since I first committed my life to him 4 years ago. I think back to that little 13 year old girl sitting outside on the frozen pavement on a winter night, staring out across a frozen lake to a huge moon, and her silent cries to Jesus as tears ran down her face. At that moment I had no idea what it meant to "be in a relationship with Christ" but each day I am learning. He has surprised me, blessed me, and changed my heart. On that desperate night my life took a new course... my footsteps landed on a new path and I was ready to run into the arms of a savior.
My week at Rockbridge also helped me come to several other realizations. 1) I most definitely want to become a YL leader someday 2) Everything works out in God's timing, Not Mine! 3) Being surrounded by other uplifting Christians is one of the greatest feelings 4) I am more excited for Spain than ever before!!!
When I arrived home on Wednesday morning from camp, I found my passport in the mail which included my Spanish visa inside. can somebody say EXCITEMENT!? I literally have 6 more weeks of summer vacation before I board a plane and begin a life in another country.
Sometimes I wish I could freeze time and just breath in the moment. Life moves so fast.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
No Socks for Cold Feet
After writing the title of this blog I laughed at myself because I quite literally have no socks in my drawer right now. My "physical inadequacy to do work because it's almost summer" has effected just about every aspect of my life including the laundry pile. Hence, the vacant sock drawer. ANYWAY...
At the Rotary Conference last month Uncle Jack said something like, "You all better get a pair of thick socks soon!"
We all looked at each other, and after a few moments of confusion he explained, that in the next few months and as our departure dates creep closer, we will ALL get cold feet.
At first you think to yourself, "Psh! Not me! This is such an awesome experience and I can't wait to fiesta en las discotecas!"
But the feelings are inevitable, inescapable, and REAL. You don't realize how much you actually loved Mrs. Kowalski's class. Yes, I said it. Because those 42 minutes of pure stupidity with Nicole by my side bring me so much happiness. And the school cookies taste better and better with each one that you eat. Tad's visits to my locker bring some kind of comfort just because he's there, and seeing Mr. Petrillo's perfectly rolled up sleeves make me smile because the "sleeve-roll" is just one of the many arts that he has perfected.
This little town that no longer serves a boundary for my life is something that I will surely miss. Every day in 5th period I stare at the countdown that Mr. Miller wrote on the board. Each day decreasing by one. One day further from Pitman. One day closer to Spain. Each day my feet become cooler.
Of course all of these doubts/feelings that blur my thoughts at night have forced me to plunge deeper into my faith and thirst for reassurance, support, and strength. People look at me like I'm something great...
They say, "Wow. That's gonna be so hard. Wow. Ten months!? I could never do that! Good for you!"
But what I want everyone to realize is that I'm not as great as you make me sound. Ten months is a really long time. And I am just as scared as you would be and just as "cold footed" a any other student that has been in this position. I even spoke to a mother who said that her daughter cried and begged to let her stay home, but her daughter still went and is now loving South America.
Now hopefully I never get to that point (the crying and begging I mean) but still, It's scary. I'm only 16!
I read this in one of my favorite books a few months ago, and it spoke right to me-
In fact, it seems that good-bye is a word all too prevalent in the Christian's vocabulary. Missionaries know it well. Those who send them know it, too. The doctor who leaves the city to work in the jungle hospital has said it. So has the Bible translator who lives far from home. Those who feed the hungry, those who teach the lost, those who help the poor all know the word good-bye. Airports. Luggage. Embraces. Taillight. "Wave to grandma." Tears. Bus terminals. Ship docks. "Good-bye, Daddy." Tight throats. Ticket counters. Misty eyes. "Write me!"
Question: What kind of God would put people through such agony? What kind of God would give you families and then ask you to leave them? What kind of God would give you friends and then ask you to say good-bye?
Answer: A God who know that the deepest love is built not on passion and romance but on a common mission and sacrifice.
Answer: A God who knows that we are only pilgrims and that eternity is so close that a "Good-bye" is in reality a "See you tomorrow."
Answer: A God who did it himself.
Ugh! I love Max Lucado's books!
Those three years that Jesus traveled and grew his ministry, where do you think Mary was? And Joseph? Jesus was away from home and away from his family, and they undoubtably missed each other! But there was an understanding that He was fulfilling a purpose that God had set for Him. And although Mary missed her child, and even watched later as he took his dying breath, there was always a deeper truth. There needs to be an understanding like that in all of our lives; an understanding that God's plan is more important than anything else. It requires selflessness, commitment, and faith.
There is no doubt in my mind that this trip to Spain is His plan for me. And although each day is a mystery, I hope that someday I will be able to look back and say, "Wow. That year changed my life, and helped me to fulfill His blueprint for my every step." The good-byes, tears, and heartfelt embraces will merely be a "see you soon" when compared to the eternal life that we will live together. And that is nothing to cry about. So bundle up those feet baby. The journey is just beginning!
At the Rotary Conference last month Uncle Jack said something like, "You all better get a pair of thick socks soon!"
We all looked at each other, and after a few moments of confusion he explained, that in the next few months and as our departure dates creep closer, we will ALL get cold feet.
At first you think to yourself, "Psh! Not me! This is such an awesome experience and I can't wait to fiesta en las discotecas!"
But the feelings are inevitable, inescapable, and REAL. You don't realize how much you actually loved Mrs. Kowalski's class. Yes, I said it. Because those 42 minutes of pure stupidity with Nicole by my side bring me so much happiness. And the school cookies taste better and better with each one that you eat. Tad's visits to my locker bring some kind of comfort just because he's there, and seeing Mr. Petrillo's perfectly rolled up sleeves make me smile because the "sleeve-roll" is just one of the many arts that he has perfected.
This little town that no longer serves a boundary for my life is something that I will surely miss. Every day in 5th period I stare at the countdown that Mr. Miller wrote on the board. Each day decreasing by one. One day further from Pitman. One day closer to Spain. Each day my feet become cooler.
Of course all of these doubts/feelings that blur my thoughts at night have forced me to plunge deeper into my faith and thirst for reassurance, support, and strength. People look at me like I'm something great...
They say, "Wow. That's gonna be so hard. Wow. Ten months!? I could never do that! Good for you!"
But what I want everyone to realize is that I'm not as great as you make me sound. Ten months is a really long time. And I am just as scared as you would be and just as "cold footed" a any other student that has been in this position. I even spoke to a mother who said that her daughter cried and begged to let her stay home, but her daughter still went and is now loving South America.
Now hopefully I never get to that point (the crying and begging I mean) but still, It's scary. I'm only 16!
I read this in one of my favorite books a few months ago, and it spoke right to me-
In fact, it seems that good-bye is a word all too prevalent in the Christian's vocabulary. Missionaries know it well. Those who send them know it, too. The doctor who leaves the city to work in the jungle hospital has said it. So has the Bible translator who lives far from home. Those who feed the hungry, those who teach the lost, those who help the poor all know the word good-bye. Airports. Luggage. Embraces. Taillight. "Wave to grandma." Tears. Bus terminals. Ship docks. "Good-bye, Daddy." Tight throats. Ticket counters. Misty eyes. "Write me!"
Question: What kind of God would put people through such agony? What kind of God would give you families and then ask you to leave them? What kind of God would give you friends and then ask you to say good-bye?
Answer: A God who know that the deepest love is built not on passion and romance but on a common mission and sacrifice.
Answer: A God who knows that we are only pilgrims and that eternity is so close that a "Good-bye" is in reality a "See you tomorrow."
Answer: A God who did it himself.
Ugh! I love Max Lucado's books!
Those three years that Jesus traveled and grew his ministry, where do you think Mary was? And Joseph? Jesus was away from home and away from his family, and they undoubtably missed each other! But there was an understanding that He was fulfilling a purpose that God had set for Him. And although Mary missed her child, and even watched later as he took his dying breath, there was always a deeper truth. There needs to be an understanding like that in all of our lives; an understanding that God's plan is more important than anything else. It requires selflessness, commitment, and faith.
There is no doubt in my mind that this trip to Spain is His plan for me. And although each day is a mystery, I hope that someday I will be able to look back and say, "Wow. That year changed my life, and helped me to fulfill His blueprint for my every step." The good-byes, tears, and heartfelt embraces will merely be a "see you soon" when compared to the eternal life that we will live together. And that is nothing to cry about. So bundle up those feet baby. The journey is just beginning!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
First Blog
I can't believe it's almost May of 2012. It seems like just yesterday that Mary Kate was sitting in the back of my car saying, "I'm applying to be a Rotary Youth Exchange student!" And then the night that she was crying (as we were babysitting) because she had just found out that she would be living in Spain. Wow. I can almost hear the little kids still running around and screaming as we stood there talking about Europe, life, and travel. I immediately knew that I had to do RYE as soon as I heard about it. " Live in Europe? Are you kidding!? Sign me up!" I thought.
Over a year has passed since then. Through the highs and lows and everything in between, this opportunity felt like a fantasy. And it still does.
I ran downstairs into the kitchen yesterday screaming "Mom! Mom! MOM!" and stood in front of her (along with my sister and aunt) with the biggest smile on my face. I didn't say anything, but it only took my sister about 5 seconds before she said, "OMG, you found out where you're going!" .. (The laptop that I was holding over my head gave it away)
For the next half an hour we huddled around the screen, reading the e-mail from my beautiful host sister, Gloria, and looking up pictures of Dénia.
As if it didn't feel like a fantasy enough... looking at pictures of the crystal clear waters on the beach, the architecture, the culture, and the pictures of my amazing new family all made it seem like I'm plunging my head into a story book. Unreal.
Everyone asks, "Are you excited!?" "Do you know how to speak spanish well?" "Isn't it gonna be hard to live in another country?" "Why are you doing this?"
And my answer is of course, "Yes I'm excited! No I'm not that great at speaking spanish. And yeahhh, it's gonna be really hard but completely wonderful at the same time!"
I just can't answer that last one. Why am I doing this? I don't really know.
I love Europe, I want to be fluent in spanish, and experience something totally different...
But is that all? I don't think so. I think that making a decision to live away from your family and friends and everything you've ever known is a really really big decision to make at this age. And for that reason, I think it goes beyond your interests, goals, and anything tangible. It goes beyond ourselves. That's why I can't answer this question... because it's beyond me.
Spain Called & I answered. It's as simple as that. God just has a plan too big for us to understand.
Over a year has passed since then. Through the highs and lows and everything in between, this opportunity felt like a fantasy. And it still does.
I ran downstairs into the kitchen yesterday screaming "Mom! Mom! MOM!" and stood in front of her (along with my sister and aunt) with the biggest smile on my face. I didn't say anything, but it only took my sister about 5 seconds before she said, "OMG, you found out where you're going!" .. (The laptop that I was holding over my head gave it away)
For the next half an hour we huddled around the screen, reading the e-mail from my beautiful host sister, Gloria, and looking up pictures of Dénia.
As if it didn't feel like a fantasy enough... looking at pictures of the crystal clear waters on the beach, the architecture, the culture, and the pictures of my amazing new family all made it seem like I'm plunging my head into a story book. Unreal.
Everyone asks, "Are you excited!?" "Do you know how to speak spanish well?" "Isn't it gonna be hard to live in another country?" "Why are you doing this?"
And my answer is of course, "Yes I'm excited! No I'm not that great at speaking spanish. And yeahhh, it's gonna be really hard but completely wonderful at the same time!"
I just can't answer that last one. Why am I doing this? I don't really know.
I love Europe, I want to be fluent in spanish, and experience something totally different...
But is that all? I don't think so. I think that making a decision to live away from your family and friends and everything you've ever known is a really really big decision to make at this age. And for that reason, I think it goes beyond your interests, goals, and anything tangible. It goes beyond ourselves. That's why I can't answer this question... because it's beyond me.
Spain Called & I answered. It's as simple as that. God just has a plan too big for us to understand.
2012-2013 Outbounds!
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